


In Berlin

by Lionessinthedark



Series: Sherlock's and John's challenges [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes BBC - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Light Masochism, Post His Last Vow, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know of course that if people survive torture they are often damaged beyond repair, mentally and physically. I do not mean any disrespect towards people’s sufferings.<br/>But this is just fiction....so just as Gatiss and Moffat can bring Sherlock back from Serbia without any mental or physical problems at all, I can ”cure” Sherlock’s problems with the help of Irene Adler <br/>This is Post His Last Vow. Some of the events in this part have happened in the previous parts of Sherlock's and John's challenges.<br/>And of course I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Arthur Conan Doyle and BBC.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> I know of course that if people survive torture they are often damaged beyond repair, mentally and physically. I do not mean any disrespect towards people’s sufferings.  
> But this is just fiction....so just as Gatiss and Moffat can bring Sherlock back from Serbia without any mental or physical problems at all, I can ”cure” Sherlock’s problems with the help of Irene Adler   
> This is Post His Last Vow. Some of the events in this part have happened in the previous parts of Sherlock's and John's challenges.  
> And of course I do not own any of the characters. They belong to Arthur Conan Doyle and BBC.

Sherlock stood in the entrance of the theater looking at the audience. He was unrecognizable....his curly hair shorter and straightened and turned back over his head. Wearing a tuxedo.

He was looking at the scene....oh yes it was definitely Irene, “The Woman” even though the hair had a different colour. “Chestnut” he believed.  
He went to her dressing room. He had brought flowers...5 red roses and was allowed to wait for her outside.

  
It took a few seconds before she recognized him....”Sherlock”!!

“Shh...that is not my name here, just as yours is not Irene...oder sollen wir lieber Deutsch sprechen? “Ida Adelstein” es ist...glaube ich. Darf ich mich vorstellen? Ich bin Siegfried Häuzer. Guten Tag...ich habe so viel über Ihnen gehört, Fräulein Adelstein.“

And they continued their conversation in German language...Irene had lived in Berlin since Sherlock had helped her escape from Karachi but it still puzzled her that he was so god at speaking German. He told her what he needed from her and why... and she told him that she of course felt that she owed him.

„Es gibt mehr....aber es ist ein bisschen privat“ (“There is more...but it’s a bit private...”)

She laughed....”Meine Wohnung dann”(“my flat then”)

Irene called for a taxi and they went to her flat.....a rather big one in the “Mitte”.

“How can you afford that? Sherlock asked.

“I earn rather well, and someone owes me a favour!”

“You are not blackmailing again, are you?!”

“Shhh, Sherlock..if I was...it’s none of your business, is it? Unless of course you are here for a client too?”

“No...I told you the truth.”

“Then just enjoy what I can offer you!”

He smiled at her: “That could mean a lot!”

“It could mean just as much as you want it to. I owe you my life! Sit down...Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back in a moment.”

When she returned in a dress and not her costume, Sherlock had removed his jacket and was wearing his white shirt and tuxedo-trousers. Irene could see that he had lost weight.

“You are getting thinner...You had more muscles when I last saw you naked!”

He smiled: “Do you want to see me like that again? I thought you didn’t fancy men! Even though you could have me doubt that fact in my flat and in my bedroom...and later too, after Karachi. But of course: women can fake a lot!”

She smiled at him: “and so can men.....and I was told then that you were a virgin!”

“Oh come on...I haven’t been a virgin since I was 16, but there are things you don’t tell your big brother....”

Then he got serious: “Two things, Irene: I'll need your help later on. I’ll tell about it when I know more. Second...there is something that puzzles me, and I can’t find the explanation and I think it....being your area....could be something you could explain.”

Irene felt touched by the fact that Sherlock actually admitted that there was something he didn’t know about and that he came to her.

“That is not something that happens often, is it Sherlock?”

“That I admit I need help?” he said with a smile: “no, but it shows how much I trust you, doesn’t it?”

He began to remove his bow tie and unbutton his shirt.

“What are you doing?” asked Irene.

“I’m going to show you something. I’ve been through quite a lot since we saw each other the last time”

And he took off his shirt and showed Irene his back: “It is even not as bad as it could have been. I’ve had stem cell treatments, so what you can see know is only reminiscences....about 25% of what it would have been without the treatment!”

Irene looked in shock at Sherlock’s back.....scars were still visible...and on his arms too. Had he been flogged? And how would 100% have looked? Horrifying!

“What happened?”

“I was caught in Serbia...tortured for about 3-4 weeks I think. It's a bit of a blur: flogged, hanging in my arms, hit by water pipes, zapped with tazers...broken ribs and demolished skin...starved.....the usual stuff. Then when I came back, John and I were captured by Moriarty about a year and a half after. Did you know by the way that they were two Moriarties?...Twins? And the one: Jim flogged us and sort of crucified John?”

Irene shivered. She had actually worked some time together with Moriarty...but she got out of it relatively unharmed. To be at the mercy of that madman......

Sherlock turned around and looked at her: “And now what puzzles me: I’ve seen what you do to people on stage....what they like you to do and I didn’t understand. Why pain...why submission? I don’t get it, or rather I did not get it. But watching what you did on the stage the last 14 days and yes...I’ve seen your show 14 days in a row, it turns me on....it arouses me! Why?”

Irene looked at his crouch: “Apparently not?”

Sherlock smiled: “Oh you should know....even if men are not so much your area. There are methods to avoid erections!”

She looked at him and smiled: “Cage or ring?”

“Ring...a single one ....leather....a cage could be spotted! I’ve spotted several in your audience....”

“So you wonder why you suddenly find it arousing?”

“Yeah.....I think, having been through what I have been through, the real thing...being tortured......actually living with nerve damage and demolished muscle tissue and skin.....then why?!”

“And you want...what?...Information or what? That I show you the pleasures of submission? Of pain?”

“Information, thank you! I’m not sure about the submission. I think it’s a question of trust.....to totally trust somebody. But I don’t get the idea of just letting somebody take over your whole life. Maybe sometimes in bed, for a change...and yes I remember that you had me begging...more than twice, but you begged too! When we have been together you and I, it has always been “vanilla” even a bit rough sometimes. But neither of us has submitted. I can understand the chemical reaction to...hm...”pleasure-punishments”. It has to be endorphines. But what I miss to understand is why I find it arousing when I’ve been actually tortured. Have you ever heard about that?”

Irene looked at Sherlock: “Yes I have.....I actually work in that area. Helping torture victims to get back on their feet again. Reprogramming their brains.”

“Oh I see..men too?”

“Mostly men. I have to be rather clinical about this now, Sherlock, if you want my help. Do you accept that?”

“Oh..yes. It’s fine. Actually an area I have to admit that I do not know much about” said Sherlock and smiled: “It’s your game, I think.”

“Ok...”, Irene sat down in front of him on a chair after having fetched a form: “When did you have sex the last time? Orgasms?”

“Including masturbation?”

“Yes”

“Hm...with someone...it must have been with you and it’s about 4 years ago now”

Irene looked shocked: “4 years?!”

“Well, actually....since I had to jump to save John, Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson I had to be on the run, de-tangling Moriarty’s web...or what I thought to be his web. I have new information now. Living on the run for 2 years doesn’t leave much time for pleasure! When I got home, things were complicated and the effects of the torture...well...didn’t leave much time for lust. Then John’s marriage and the case with Magnussen. I dated Jannie, Magnussen’s secretary, but she was one of the girls who would wait till after the marriage, so no sex, just...hm...cuddling. Sex isn’t that important for me, you know, Irene. It’s something I can do without for a long time if it is necessary. Months and then a few wanks as it so poetically is named, then it is months again. But I get flashbacks more often than I like to think about if I try to masturbate now and pains.”

“Why the cock-ring?”

"Because I can get aroused and I can masturbate. But it is not fulfilling. It gives no actual release...no pleasure. Then it is easier not to get an erection that I actually can’t do anything fulfilling about!”

“I see... were you tortured genitally?”

“Yes...in Serbia....electricity. Not any direct blow or kick. And I had trousers on. They used some sort of electric rod...a tazer.”

They continued the interview....and actually Irene was a bit shocked.....because Sherlock talked so calmly about it and because he actually had lived in nearly celibacy for 4 years.


	2. Chapter 2

When they finished talking she smiled and said: “You should have been a monk! Living in celibacy for that long. I can help you Sherlock....to enjoy sex again. But the torture you have experienced can give you immense pleasure if you dare. When you have found out that what I do on stage arouses you, then your re-programming is already coming up. You are on the way.”

“To what?”

“Masochism......pain and pleasure. And I can assure you that the bottom in that relationship gets the best part...if the top of course is the true top and not just a weird sadist. Do I shock you?”

“No...actually not. Would you do that...re-programme me? I would like to be able to enjoy sex again.”

“OK. In to the other bedroom....my working-place. Undress and lie down on the bed. I’ll return soon.”

Sherlock did as he was told  
Irene returned...now in costume: a black leather dress and boots. But she had removed her long red nails.

“Hm..I would have sworn that they weren’t artificial,” said Sherlock....”and why the dress?”

“Would you prefer me naked?”

“I don’t know.....You choose.”

“It’s easier to be professional with my working clothes on. Clinical again: how far would you go? Something anal? It would make it easier for me to re-programme you if you enjoy that.”

“Hm...I have been with men. And we’ve tried. I have been both top and bottom...but no success. We were amateurs. I really don’t know if I would like it.”

“Just in case...bathroom!”

“Oh...yes...I see.”

He got up and went to the bathroom and found the enema- machine.” I’ll just...hm...stuff it up...I suppose?”

Irene laughed: “Yes you do! About 5 minutes would do. Remove the hose and throw it in the bin and come back then.”

Sherlock came back in...he had still the cock-ring on.

“You’ll have to remove that!” Irene pointed..

“Oh....I forgot.”

“It’s strange Sherlock. I’m not into men....I look at a male chest and think something is missing, I see a lack of curves and I see a cock and it doesn’t turn me on. But then I look at you and you are so much a male...and you turn me on. Your mind most of all, but your body too. It’s a mystery.”

“I feel the same way. Your mind, Irene, turns me on and you know that it was a fact, when we first met. But I’m rather good at drawing a line between mind and body. Better than you are...I caught you! I did beat you. And I faked that I loved the whole of you. But I couldn’t let you die! And later, when you weren’t a threat any more I could allow myself to love the whole of you. If just you would have been a man you would have been the perfect partner for me, maybe. Because it still puzzles me why I find your body attractive, when I’m so much more into men! Not totally, but yet.”

“You haven’t told John?”

“When should I have done that? Thank god I didn’t do it before I jumped. It would have made it so much worse. After? He had found Mary...and even if she tried to kill me and yet did not because she knew about John’s feelings for me, even if he doesn’t realize the feelings himself, I could not just come waltzing in and say: “Hey John, forget about your wife...I love you!” Now with their daughter...it is even worse. There is no way that I can tell John about my true feelings now, risking to separate Mina’s parents. Even though I have found out about Mary’s true identity as an assassin put on me. I just can’t!”

“No....you couldn’t I presume. You are much too decent for that! By the way. I don’t think we would be ideal partners for each other. We are too much alike! We would drive each other insane. I’m very happy with an occasional shag sometimes, and maybe more than that sometimes too. But “live happily ever after”....it is not my sort of thing. Not right now at least. Now back to business: what do you feel about restrains?”

“I really don’t know. Metal-cuffs would probably trigger something....softer ones? And some I would be able to work myself out off maybe? And definitely not standing....it would be a trigger too. Lying on the bed would be best. I thought you would know?”

“Not without you telling me. I’m not that god at reading you, Sherlock...others maybe, but not you. And you’ll have to have a safe-word, just in case. If you get flash-backs.... do you have a method?”

“Safe-word: cinnamon.....and method: John taught me a mantra” And Sherlock told what the mantra was.

“OK...we’ll start then...if you are ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. But I can’t claim that I’m not a bit nervous...even though I trust you totally...but can I trust my own body? Or my mind?”

“I’ll be careful....remember.....I’ve tried this before. Lie down on your back...hands over your head...and legs a bit parted”

Sherlock did as she said and found it arousing instead of disturbing when she cuffed his wrists and ankles. He began to moan and became fully erect as she licked his nipples and put a soft-clamp on each.

“Oh my god” he moaned.

Irene smiled: “Turn around...You said that your experience with anal penetration wasn’t a success, so I’ll be very careful. If it is too much, then say “stop”...no reason for safe-word right now. I’m going to tell you what I’m doing the whole way. OK?”

“OK” murmured Sherlock.

“First: A pillow under your hips and preparation: my fingers and lube.”

“Oh,” said Sherlock, “that explains the short nails.”

“Is it OK?”

“Hmm. Strange feeling, but nice. Continue, please”

“You are begging....” she smiled.  
_______________

Irene told about every step, before she did it....at the end Sherlock lay moaning with a large dildo up his arse, and he experienced his first prostate-orgasm.

“I didn’t ejaculate!?”

“No and that is why you can continue!” She smiled.

The next section was with “harder” clamps...still lying on his stomach. The dildo up his arse and this time Irene was marking his back and buttocks with a riding crop.....no blood but sure enough welts....only 8 blows and Sherlock came...seeing stars.  
______________________

They continued like that over the next few days.....pushing Sherlock’s limits. Not even when he was standing on his feet with his arms up and actually in metal-cuffs found he any reason to use his safe-word. To his surprise Irene was able to give him up till 4-5 orgasms per day. (“I’m not 17 any more!” he said)

In the evening Irene left the flat to go to work and Sherlock allowed himself to get lost in the underworld of Berlin. Taking care that those CCTV cameras would spot him in known drug-areas. Wearing make-up and clothes that made him look like a drug addict. Withdrawing so much money that it could fund his heavy drug abuse...(he only bought a very small amount of heroin and cocaine. The rest of the money was in Irene’s flat).

The morning the 7th day Sherlock was in the private bathroom shaving in the old-fashioned way: knife and soap. Irene came in....”Why are you not using the electric shaver, it is so much easier?”

“Hm...I have an issue with such a shaver. But it’s just a small reminiscence so I actually didn’t think of it as a problem.”

“Issue?”

“Hm....as I was caught in Serbia one of my tortures apparently found it better to be able to look at my shaved face, as he tortured me. He didn’t care about my hair....but just my face. And funny enough he was very careful when he shaved me every 2nd day, I think, with an electric shaver. I do not sport that much facial hair. No 5 o’clock shadow on me. And now I have an issue with electric shavers!”

“We’ll do something about that” Irene smiled: “come here!”

And after that Sherlock thought that he now had a new issue. He would not be able to hear the buzz from a shaver without being just a little bit horny.......and he now could sport a pair of nearly hairless genitals and a naked chest.  
____________________

The 12th day they were lying on Irene’s own bed, both naked after having nearly vanilla-sex.... No welts....no pain. Just sex.

“I would like you to pierce my nipples” Sherlock said, “But maybe I can use the opportunity when I return in about three months. I suppose you can have everything prepared then? Have I given you enough money? Remember...I have used such a great amount of money on my “oh-so-unfortunate-drug-abuse”. I wonder why Mycroft haven’t stopped my account yet.”

“I’ll be ready,” Irene said “and I’ll try to find someone who dares to go with you.”

“Not the whole way. Not the last part. I’m doing that on my own and don’t get the idea that you should follow me there. It’s my revenge and I’m the only one risking my life!” He said that while his fingers trailed down Irene’s face: “It has been wonderful, these 12 days. But I’ll have to go “under” soon. I’ll just need to starve myself a little bit more and work on my arms.”

“You can stay here.......in my flat, and if you find it difficult to starve I can always gag you!”

“Hmm...it would be a wet dream for you...having me naked and bound and gagged in your bed for the next month, right?”

“Do not tempt me, Sherlock...I’m even considering proposing to you!”

“Be careful...I might say yes, if it could be all right that I brought in another male too.”

“Dream on, Sherlock. He is married...and I don’t think I’m Mary’s cup of tea.”

Sherlock looked disturbed: “Don’t even think that, Irene. Mary is so dangerous. Stay away from her in any way possible, Irene. I would like to be able to be in your flat sometimes the next months, just having a place to stash money and get some sleep. I’ll need to dig further into “The mastermind"s world.....If you want to give me a message you can just leave a note for me in your flat. I’ll be around...but only a few times the next month.”  
______________________  
That was why Sherlock first learned about Mary’s and Mina’s death a week after it happened. And Irene had quite a job convincing Sherlock that he would lose 10 years of work if he left Berlin now, before he was ready.

When Sherlock finally was ready, as ready as he could be right now, before Plan B could be launched, he looked awful. Pale, thin and with arms that – at the first sight – showed that he had indeed abused drugs (some of it was make up...but some of it real wounds too). He dropped his disguise-clothes as an abuser on the floor, put them in a plastic-bag and into his bag , washed and shaved and put on his now a bit to big clothes: “Back to England....and to John. I hope he doesn’t beat me up this time...I’m much to thin for that. Time to show Mycroft my arms!” He kissed Irene and left her, the flat and Berlin.


End file.
